“I need to drop off some cake,” my mom says over the phone. “We have so much cake and you forgot to take the cake.”
“I want the cake, but I don’t want the cake,” I say. “I’m starting a new program on Monday.” It’s Sunday. I debate if there’s still time for her to drop the homemade banana nut cake with crack-like cream cheese frosting off on Sunday because I can still eat cake on Sunday.
My husband and I just stopped for ice cream. (Soft serve twist with rainbow sprinkles and a side of chocolate peanut butter chunk.)
“This is our problem,” he says. “We hike six miles uphill and then we stop at Chick-fil-A on the way home.”
He’s right: this is our problem. And we can’t go to Chick-fil-A without getting a milkshake (on the side).
“Ice cream is our reward for hiking six miles,” I explain. “Plus, it’s almost 90 degrees outside today. We will need ice cream to cool down.”
My husband thought we were starting to eat healthy again.
“On Monday,” I explain. “Today is not Monday.”
Monday has always felt like the right day to start a healthy journey. The week is fresh, I’ve usually been asleep since 9pm on a Sunday, and the general spirit of Monday is that it’s time to put on your anything-is-possible pants.
I tell my husband that I would like to invest in a new fitness and nutrition program that starts on Monday. “I’m languishing,” I say.
“What does that mean?”
I read from the recent New York Times article a friend sent me that seeks to normalize the word “languishing” as the current mental state of most of us after a pandemic year with our bodies in fight-or-flight mode. (Instantly, I was on board with normalizing the response, “Honestly, I’m languishing,” and I thought everyone had already caught up to the new household language.)
“Joyless, aimless,” I read, “muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. I have all these things. I’m languishing.”
He nods along. A text comes in, so I’m distracted. And then I remember.
“And trouble concentrating,” I say. “That’s me.”
On Monday, I swap out ice cream for green smoothies, I make a date with my dumbbells, and hit the refresh button as we wait for a-whole-new me to load.