Will You Forgive Me?
October is when I came back to life. I know it from the pumpkin bread recipe hanging on my fridge by a magnet with notes scribbled about ingredients to swap. Try a quarter-cup of banana instead of an egg, pumpkin puree for a fall flavor. I wrote in the margins on a narrow notepad with…
You Don’t Know the Whole Story
Once, I thought I knew it all. I thought my story was sadder than anyone else’s story. I thought my family had endured more than anyone else’s, but that was just our little secret to carry around. Psh, if only you knew. And by “once” I mean a million times. This is an easy habit…
How to Win the Day
Last night: chips and salsa, tacos, and sangria with my longest best friends. One declares she’s learning to wait. (A fist pounded on the table to mark the historical moment.) She’s the decision-maker of the team, so we cocked our heads a little bit, squinted, because this whole waiting to make a decision thing will…
When Life Goes Off-Roading
A baby lost. Singleness prolonged. Families incomplete. I always feel different, changed in some deep way when I hear stories like these about faithful people who have plowed through serious heartbreak. No one expects to lose a newborn baby, one you’ve carried around for nine months, rubbing your belly while whispering prayers of forever. No…
Finding Beauty in the Ashes
More and more, I’m starting to believe in the quieting of pain. For some time, I subscribed to the pray-it-all-away mentality, the belief that God will surely eliminate the pain, the fear, the grief entirely. I’ve held out for the day when my anxious self will disappear, thinking I’m less-than until that day arrives when…
For When You’re Still Waiting
I want what I want, when I want it, NOW. No, yesterday. As my grandma always sang to me as a child, “There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was…
How Long You Stay On A Treadmill Reveals a Lot About Your Future Self
I will not die on a treadmill. Let me back up a little bit. Angela Duckworth wrote a book called Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. In the chapter about how effort counts twice, she quotes Will Smith, who said, “The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is: I’m…
Who Are You When No One Is Watching?
I am not the first person (really, Christian) to confess this, but here it goes: I have been known to slip out a cuss word here and there. Or several, as is suitable for the circumstances.
The High Highs, The Low Lows, and Everything In Between
In my family, we like to do it up big. We’re busy trying to go to the moon, but we’re also contracting rare diseases that puzzle medical professionals. When I draw a timeline of my life, these high highs and low lows, these peaks and pits, they happen at exactly the same time. Some say…
The Slow Creep of Conformity
This post is part of a new project that I’m working on. Visit Jess Alston’s website to learn more about the Dig Deep Podcast. “Become what you contemplate.” ― Ashley’s Mirror (also wisdom brought home from a seminary class trip to Italy) Here’s what I want to say to you (with a bold confidence): I would not…