Once, I thought I knew it all. I thought my story was sadder than anyone else's story. I thought my family had endured more than anyone else's, but that was just our little secret to carry around. Psh, if only you knew. And by "once" I mean a million times. This is an easy habit [...]
Last night: chips and salsa, tacos, and sangria with my longest best friends. One declares she's learning to wait. (A fist pounded on the table to mark the historical moment.) She's the decision-maker of the team, so we cocked our heads a little bit, squinted, because this whole waiting to make a decision thing will [...]
A baby lost. Singleness prolonged. Families incomplete. I always feel different, changed in some deep way when I hear stories like these about faithful people who have plowed through serious heartbreak. No one expects to lose a newborn baby, one you've carried around for nine months, rubbing your belly while whispering prayers of forever. No [...]
More and more, I'm starting to believe in the quieting of pain. For some time, I subscribed to the pray-it-all-away mentality, the belief that God will surely eliminate the pain, the fear, the grief entirely. I've held out for the day when my anxious self will disappear, thinking I'm less-than until that day arrives when [...]
I want what I want, when I want it, NOW. No, yesterday. As my grandma always sang to me as a child, "There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was [...]
I will not die on a treadmill. Let me back up a little bit. Angela Duckworth wrote a book called Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. In the chapter about how effort counts twice, she quotes Will Smith, who said, "The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is: I'm [...]
I am not the first person (really, Christian) to confess this, but here it goes: I have been known to slip out a cuss word here and there. Or several, as is suitable for the circumstances. My boyfriend is not a fan. In fact, a non-cusser is one of his top qualities he's looking for [...]
In my family, we like to do it up big. We're busy trying to go to the moon, but we're also contracting rare diseases that puzzle medical professionals. When I draw a timeline of my life, these high highs and low lows, these peaks and pits, they happen at exactly the same time. Some say [...]
My mom warned me it would happen: she said, again and again, one day you will wake up and he will be bigger than you. So this day she said would come, this growth spurt of my little brother, well, I don't need to tell you this. But I will. It happened. For the majority [...]
I lost my grocery list. Crumpled, half-folded, itemized secrets to eating and living. Blueberries Kale Flowers I forget. Omega-3s for joints, anti-inflammatory, immune-system-building ingredients. Back then, my elbows leaned on the cart as I crossed off essentials. But seasons change, it's gone, or it will resurface when the ice melts. Tonight: frozen pizza.
